Apple Attitude

Apple Attitude (c) 2017 Lif StrandRANT ALERT.  iLovers just keep quiet for once.

If you’re a PC/Android person, you’ll know just what I mean when I talk about Apple attitude.  It’s that feeling we get when Mac users (even more than other Apple product users) condescend to us.

It pisses me off.  I’ve used Apple products.  I’ve had a Mac Book  (I think that’s what it was called.  It didn’t live with me long enough for me to get to know it’s name.  And really, doesn’t it sound like someone should be asking you if you want fries with that?).

I’ve got an iPad.  Don’t use it.  I’ve got an iPhone.  It works.

So it’s not like I’m not unfamiliar with the products.  It’s just that they aren’t all that hot.

Seriously.  Apple products are simply other options.  They aren’t necessarily better options.  Too many iLovers are like vegans: They act like the rest of us are scum because we aren’t following The Path.

It’s not just Mac users.  It’s Apple Inc., too (I’m sure they encourage the iLovers.  And the vegans).  Heaven forbid you should want to install Apple products adapted for PC/Android devices and then expect they’re going to work.  No, no.  First you must be beaten to your knees.

And my Mac friends wonder why I gnash my teeth and have to restrain myself from throttling them when they tell me “get a Mac” as a solution to my tech problems.

Look, Apple:  we are perfectly happy with our PC oriented life.  We don’t want to worship at the alter, we just want a tool to do the job.

Like this:

I bought a digital book in 2013 (yes, friends, four — that’s 4 — years ago!)  It was only available from iTunes store.  Probably still is.  The alternative was to spend mega bucks on a hard copy because it was a book of photographs.

Never once have I been able to actually see the contents of the book.  Oh, yes, of course I can access it on my iPhone.  Viewing a large format coffee table book on a teensy tiny screen is such a wonderful experience that of course I want to do it all the time.

Not.

But I have iTunes on my PC.  I don’t like iTunes.  Like other Apple products, it assumes that if I downloaded it, then I must want it to rule my life.

Not so, Apple.  Keep your grubby fingers off my music.

I’ve learned bypasses around iTunes sticky fingers – because, hey, I actually buy CDs and rip them.  I don’t need the iTunes Store to purchase my music, thank you very much.  Plus if I wanted to buy digital music to download, Amazon is much more user friendly.  I mean, is there some actual reason — other than that I’m using a PC — for all these extra steps that Apple forces us non-Apple people through?

Probably not.

At any rate, I decided the other day I really really wanted to be able to access that book.  Now I admit, I’m not great at following directions.  At least, not before I’ve tried winging it and failed sufficient times to cry uncle.  (And hello?  Tech people?  I don’t do videos for instructions.  Please learn to write.  Because sometimes I don’t want to fast forward and back, I just want to read the damn instructions I need.  I know, how strange.)

So okay, I wait till iTunes for PC loads up.  I poke around, look for a way to read a book via iTunes but don’t find anything.  Surprise surprise.  But okay, there is an audiobook link.

I click on that and get nothing.  Because I don’t have any iTunes audiobooks.  I just have that one regular book.

I go to my purchase history and yup, there’s my book.  Unfortunately there’s no way, zero way, absolutely zippo nada way to download a purchase from your purchase history.  I mean, why be like every single other merchant on the planet?

No.  If I want to download a book I bought via iTunes, I have to download it not to my computer, not even directly to my iPhone.  No, I have to get an iBook app for my iPhone first.  Not for my computer, but for my iPhone.

Because Apple.  Not sacriligeous PC.

So okay, I’m going to download it to my iPhone and then I will transfer it from the phone to my computer, which is the stupid way that Apple makes me do things.  But no.

I can view the book on my iPhone but I cannot download it because it’s too large.  Hey, don’t ask me, it’s just the error message I got on the phone.

So after Googling it and wading through all the stupid forums and tech sites that don’t care if a PC person wants to use a PC to access precious Apple stuff, I break down and contact Apple.

Yes, I did.  I contacted tech support.

iTunes support.  Not Apple support.  I wanted to download to iTunes because that’s what the help pages all said I should do for this book I purchased from iTunes.

Me:  I provided the Windows version and the iTunes version.  The order number.  The book name.  The date.  The fact that I had already used Help and followed the directions.  I pointed out I couldn’t even see the book title in iTunes although I could see it in my purchase history.

iTunes support:  “I understand that you’re unable to re-download your previously purchased audiobook. I’m happy to help you with this today.  I would like to inform you that you can re-download it from your past purchases. To download past purchases from your iPhone, iPad, iPod touch, computer, or Apple TV, see this page…”

You do see there the word “computer” in the response.  Not Mac computer.  Not Apple computer.  Just computer.  Okay!

But that word “audiobook”.  No.

So I replied and support responded.

iTunes support: “I once again reviewed your case and see that the item you purchased is a book and not an audiobook. So, you can access the book from iBooks.”

Oh really?  Would that be iBooks for PC?  Hah.  Not.  Turns out that while you can purchase a book using iTunes on a PC, you CAN NEVER READ THE BOOK with iTunes.

Because in the latest iTunes versions, iBooks has been removed by Apple.  Not just iTunes for PC — iTunes for everybody.  You have to have a separate iBook app.

Which is not available in any way shape or form for PC.

No. NO! NOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

It just… just… well, makes me want to weep.  It makes me want to wrap a baseball bat with barbed wire and wipe that attitude right off some faces.

Not really.  That would be sign of a bad attitude on my part.